Sister left for India today.
I was taking my shoes off, ready to retire to bed, when I saw a coffee cup in my rubbish bin. The first thing that crossed my mind was that someone must have broken into my house because hot coffee is not my cup of tea. It took me a couple of seconds to remember that I had let people in this afternoon to fix my balcony.
I got a bit upset because I did not like the personal space invasion of my rubbish bin.
Still battling with the thought of the coffee cup, I walked in to my bathroom. I switched the light on and it was brighter than usual.
What the hell was happening?
A switch for an extra bulb that had been broken for 4 years was fixed. So, the people had been into my bathroom and fixed the bulb.
She went to get married. It is the first wedding in our family.
My paranoia slowly set in. I looked at the soap and it had dried bubbles on it and I know that I hate bubbled up soap because I always wash my soap a couple of times to make sure that it does not have any bubbles on it. So, they must have washed their hands in there too. In my sink!
I put my detective hat on and went to inspect the whole house. I checked the bookshelf first. My most valuable material possessions.
There were a lot of empty spaces in the philosophy section.
Did they take my books? Oh my word! Count them all right now.
Why would anyone take your books? I tried to reason.
Just count them.
I began to count my 567 books and there were more than 35 books missing.
I am not able to attend her wedding. I am not able to attend my sister’s wedding. My best friend’s wedding.
Those 35 and more books were found on my bed – safe and sound. Pheeewwww!!!!
Okay! so now the books are here, let us calm down.
Calm down? What? Are you in your senses? They could have possibly taken your books.
You must feel disgust
So, I felt disgusted.
But, why? They did not steal anything.
You must feel disgusted because they had coffee at our place, washed their hands and fixed our bulb.
It is okay! Just think about Camus.
Oh yes! Camus. What a fine person!
After calming myself down, I switched the fan on, switched off all the lights, pulled the blanket over my head and decided to sleep it off.
I will not be able to attend the wedding because I fell in love and made some stupid choices.
What if they set up spying cameras in my room?
Mehwish, you are being unreasonable. Why would they put cameras around.
They must have put the cameras.
No they did not.
Yes, they did.
Yes, it is behind the paint brushes or maybe on one of the sleeves of my shirts hanging in the closet.
I had worked myself up to a point of hysteria.
“Can you come over to my place? I think I have cameras in my room”, I called a friend and broke down.
The choices that I made are haunting me but I have to endure them just like I have always done. I fell in love and became extremely stupid. I am paying for it.
The friend came over at 2 am. He turned everything upside down to look for something that was not there.
“Mehwish, there is nothing in your house”, he said at 4:13 am.
“Do you want me to stay over here or do you want to come and stay at my place?” He proposed a solution.
I have just helped heal my super broken heart and I know that I will get through this too. Get through not being able to attend my sister’s wedding.
“You can stay over if you want, but I think I will be fine now”, I told him.
He left, I looked at the mess in my room, climbed on the bed, played Sartre’s audiobook “Nausea”, pulled my blanket over my head, forgot about the cameras and drifted off to sleep.