Holding on or letting go?

The midnight express stood majestically on the platform. There was no life around. It was 10 minutes to midnight. 10 minutes before the train took off.

The night was moonless.

The final whistle blew. At that very precise moment, two people appeared out of nowhere. They hurried towards the train and caught it just in time.

The clock struck 12 and the train slowly came to life.

They both had settled down. Strangely, there was no one in their compartment or in the next one or anywhere.

Where are you going?

I am not sure.

You?

I don’t know either.

The compartment was dimly lit. It did not bother them. They got lost in their own thoughts and remained silent for a very long time.

They both were very strange. One was wearing a heart on the sleeve and covered in red. A red shirt, red nose and a red ring. The other had a rain cloud hovering above.

The one with the cloud struck the conversation again

Do I know you from somewhere?

I don’t know

Do you live around here?

I suppose

The red one was not responding. And some more time passed.

The train came to a sudden halt and both stumbled to the floor. They got up a bit embarrassed and a bit scared and looked around. The almost dead light died.

As they found their way back to the seats, the train took off again. This time very violently. They had to hold onto something. They must have. It was too dark to see anything.

The train found a new life and moved at a lightning speed. They were thrown here and there. One broke a nose, the other had scratches all over.

Both had the same thought. What else could have gone through their mind in such circumstances anyway?

We must get out from here before we get killed

They somehow reach the exit. Did I mention that the view was spectacular? They were stuck to the roof sometimes and on the floor sometimes. They stumbled and bumped into things. Anyways, back to the story.

It is time to jump

Ok

You jump first

No, you jump first

They both were screaming at each other. No one wanted to jump.

The red one jumped.

A few months later she woke up in her own comfortable bed. She remembered the train ride and all those broken bones and blood and guts. She remembered it all.

After she jumped, she happened to hit a giant rock and it shattered most of her bones on impact. She lost consciousness. She tried to open her eyes but she could not. She could feel life leaving her. She gasped for air but her lungs were punctured. Breathing became painful. She lied there motionless. Time passed and the first ray of sunlight broke. She could feel the warmth of the sun and she could also feel the flies on her wounds. Time did not matter anymore. She could either stay and die or move. Her survival instincts kicked in and she started to crawl for all that was left in her. After a very very long journey, she got home. She had to stitch herself up now. She doctored herself.

A while later,

The memories brought tears to her eyes. How long has she been like this? She started to ask important questions:

Should she have not jumped?

Should she have not boarded the train?

Was she forced to jump?

What kind of train was that?

Will she ever get answers?

Are there even answers? or the situation was self-explanatory?

She felt hatred

She felt anger

She felt resentment

More time passed,

All these gave way to calmness and peace. The hurt was over. She was ready to forgive. She realised that sometimes it is important to let go. Holding on when it is necessary to let go causes a lot of discomfort. Letting go is not as easy as it sounds. It takes a huge amount of time and an equally large amount of efforts. A lot of contemplation too. But, it is important to understand the situation and decide accordingly whether it requires holding on or letting go.

She is definitely not writing a letter of gratitude but she has forgiven. She forgave herself first before she could forgive the other. Forgiveness has a very soothing property. It blankets the heart and helps in moving on. But, forgiveness takes time too. One can only forgive when acceptance has occurred. Accepting the situation. Accepting the consequences.

Letting go, accepting, forgiving, moving on.

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